This much I know

Vicky Mcclure, actor, 40

There’s an illusion I’m hard as nails. Don’t get me wrong, I can be. But I’m actually pretty wimpy MICHAEL SEGALOV SCARLET PAGE

“There’s no such word as can’t!” Mum said that a lot growing up. She was right, of course. Always bloody is. So many times I thought I had no chance: not intelligent enough, no posh accent. Mum forced me to believe it was possible.

What you can achieve in a box room is incredible. As a kid, it’s where my imagination ran wild. Life wasn’t always easy, but there was never a lack of love. I didn’t have everything, but I felt I did.

I danced from the age of three, a real “watch-me” kid. In my teens it was suggested I try stage school. I got a place at Italia Conti, but they’d stopped offering bursaries and we were given 12 months to find the money – it never came.

I started college after school, but only lasted a few months. I’m not a good reader. If I’d pushed myself further? Who knows. I worked at a jeweller’s instead. Honestly, there’s nothing better than finding someone their engagement ring.

Working with Madonna never felt normal. I was still in my office job at the time. No agent, unsteady career. Then she cast me in her film [Filth and Wisdom]. We flew around the world together. I experienced incredible moments, then went back to work the next morning.

Laughter, honesty and letting each other fly. That’s what you need in a relationship. I’m away all the time. My partner [actor and producer Jonny Owen] is, too. Weeks go by and we don’t see each other. But I want him to pursue his dreams and he wants me to achieve mine. I couldn’t love him more for it.

Health anxiety has been a struggle over the years. Talking to someone has done me good. Realising I’m not the only one who thinks a headache is a brain tumour is reassuring. Ask for help. Don’t be ashamed of it.

London has given me an awful lot, but it’s not the be all and end all. There’s life across the country. Leaving Nottingham never felt like a choice for me – I love the stability and familiarity, the people. I can catch my breath here.

Julie Walters is my number one. I’ve been in awe since watching Educating Rita. She gives no shits about playing the game, does good work and is a lovely person. I saw her at an awards show once as she was heading off. I had to say hello, and was totally starstruck.

Being an auntie and a stepmum, rather than a parent, means I can indulge the kids in my life. I always want them to know I’m there. There’s so much more to family than the nuclear setup. It’s about love and meaningful connections.

There’s an illusion I’m this hardas-nails gal. Don’t get me wrong, I can be. But despite playing badass, strong women, I’m actually pretty wimpy.

There’s a tram named after me here in Nottingham. It’s totally surreal. The day that it was announced, Dad turned to me and said, “Great, now the whole city can say they’ve ridden my Vicky.”

Castle Rock Mystery Crew by Vicky Mcclure (Scholastic, £5.99) is out now